Issue 7
The Shinra Times The Shinra Times
5 Gils

Turks Traded for Gummy Bears

By I. Wagglemergy

With Shinra Electric Company's stock slowly going down, the made the decision to cut the Turks from the corporation. The announcement was made last Tuesday during a press conference. Scarlet stated that they were "...a business expense that we can afford to get rid of. Kya ha ha!" The Turks were sold to "GumMako-Quest Inc." for half a million gil and fifty kilograms of gummy bears. When Shinra executive Henry P. Wilbler was questioned on the matter, he stated that " was just too good an offer to pass down."
  GumMako Quest Inc. welcomed the Turks with open arms. CEO of GM-QI Dervus Snideward stated: "The Turks will be a great asset to GumMako. We hope that they will be open to their new family here. They will be treated just as well, if not better, than they were at Shinra."
  The Turks, however, had no comment about their sudden job change. When a reporter further pressured one Turk, simply known as "Rude", the reporter was swiftly punched in the face. Answers were given, however, from some of the close and personal friends of the Turks who wish to remain nameless. "Overall, they seem unhappy with the change. They don't seem to mind GM-QI, but they feel as if Shinra has treated them unfairly." "They plan on suing the Shinra corporation for breach of contract." It seems to be a risky move for the Turks, but "...they are confident that they shall prevail over Shinra, and obtain... what they diserve." In response to the Turks' law suit, SEC. appears to be counter suing. The Shinra Times attempted to get an explanation from Mayor Domino, but he had "no comments at this time."
  Upon further prying, the answers arose from GM-QI's Head of Custodians, Carl Davidson. "I was going about my usual rounds, when I overheard one of those Turk fellows talking with the Head of Development and Technology. They were talking about Shinra, and a few gadgets that I've only heard of those Shinra folks using." When asked about the possibility of The Turks revealing Shinra secrets, GM-QI spokesperson Laura Melton stated, "There is nothing of the sort going on!"
  Still, the only logical reason for Shinra's counter-suit seems to point towards a Turk information leak. During Wednesday's press conference, when the subject was addressed, there was still "no comment" from SEC on whether or not the statement is true.

GM-QI and Their Newest Employees
Chocobo Riot At Gold Saucer

  Last week Gold Saucer announced that the funding for Chocobo Square would be cut back, especially when it came to the payment for the jockies. The reason for the cut back: Battle Square improvements. The cut back to Chocobo Square resulted in outraged jockies turning against the patrons and staff of Gold Saucer in a violent protest that shall forever be known as "The Chocobo Riot". The disgruntled jockies rode their chocobos madly about the square, and quickly spread across Gold Saucer in its entirely. Havoc was to be found across the corridors, in the hotel, and at the game machines. Authorities finally managed to stop the jockies and many were sent to the Desert Prison that rests beneath Gold Saucer. Dio had this to say: "It was madness! Pure madness! I never trusted those chocobos!" When asked if he would be restoring the pay of the jockies, after their time in prison, Dio was still undecided. The resulting damages equal to somewhere in the range of 175,000 to 200,000 gil, as well as the closing down of the Chocobo and Battle Squares due to the extensive damages. They will remain closed for the better part of a month.

Special Thanks to Wolfey for the picture.

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